Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize