): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize