Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
