If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
