i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
thus making me awesome and them whores
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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