Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
