last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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