He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
