It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
