I just made out with a guy for $7.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
