The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
