Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
MIDGETS
????
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
