The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
