I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
