I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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