If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
