he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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