as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
