At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
