I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize