the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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