big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
