I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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