This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
