hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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