it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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