I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
