you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize