need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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