yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
