I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
