There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
