Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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