I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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