ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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