I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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