i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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