im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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