Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
