By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
