dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
