You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
