he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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