Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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