So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My balls are so social today.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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