I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
