Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
40s are totally the cure
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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