a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
