did you get engaged???
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
