No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
