At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
