My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
