Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
