Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize