But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
youre lurking in front of me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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