I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize