it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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