This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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