He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
