Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
