The maid of honor just puked.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
