you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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