You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
