Sponge bath it is.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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