I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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