We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
