He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
