So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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