Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
